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[11 Feb 2007|08:46pm] |
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bittersweet symphony. |
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Screw Valentines Day. Ick, I hate to sound to negetive..but whatever. What am I going to do all day? It's going to be pretty depressing.
I think I like a boy. But..I don't know if I should. I can definatly tell that he's interested, but I don't know if he is actually interested in ME, or interested in SCREWING me. Haha, what am I talking about? It's a guy. All guys suck. Well, Im just kidding to that, but you know what I mean? Haha. I don't think I am even ready for another boyfriend. I kinda just want to have a good time. But then on the other hand I get in those mushy gushy "I want a boyfriend" moods, and they suck. AH. I NEED TO STOP CONTRADICTIING MYSELF ASAP.
I've been basically snowboarding everyday. Makes me happy, I like the adreneline rush. (Sorry about the spelling in this btw). I like hanging out with the guys from my work, their so chill and it's just a crazy, fun time. I found out some chick in my school is talking shit about me. Makes me so angry, because she doesn't know what she's fucking talking about. I don't give shit what people say about me, or if they judge me..GO FOR IT..but if someone does, they need to learn to get their facts straight first..and not make final conclusions so quickly. I am not going to write down the whole issue of what she said, but it just makes me SO ANGRY that people can be that dumb.
I am reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower for the 5th time. I love that book, it never gets old to me.
"I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things and we can try to feel okay about them."
ahh I love it. Well, I finally updated my LJ, and it feels pretty good.
Love you.
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| sndfjkngjkf |
[15 Jan 2007|11:13pm] |
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Dear livejournal,
I feel really weird. I don't know. I've been helping out my brother videotaping his drumming audition for the band the Black Dahlia Murder..and I just really hope he sends it in soon, let alone makes it. he's a drumming legend here in Canton. This is his dream, and i can almost feel it. i want him to make it so bad it makes tear pretty much, im not going to lie. He deserves it. No, im not being a little sissy wench or whatever..He just does. We're not that close, but we can when we want to be. All of the times of filmed him drumming to the Black Dahlia Murder, it sounds amazing. Kenny is quite the perfectionist, so it's hard and stressful for him to actually think it sounds decent. I want him to make it..so bad.
Hey, I have a car..lets hang out!
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[17 Dec 2006|04:20pm] |
my anxiety has gotten worse.
fuck.
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[12 Dec 2006|01:14pm] |
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the great escape- boys like girls |
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I stayed home from school today, so I thought it would be appropriate if I updated my LJ finally.
I can't believe Christmas is less than 2 weeks away, it doesn't feel like it at all. It's so warm out and that makes me angry. I want to snowboard. I am still going to be an instructor at Blue Hills, but we don't have snow yet. I would go up to Loon or Killington or something rad like that, but I need to spend my money on Christmas shopping.
It's so weird that Im looking into colleges, already. It's good that Im doing this early n stuff, but it's a little scary and intimidating. I am actually really anxious and excited about the future, Im not too scared right now as it is, because I know what I want to do and I guess thats a good thing. I miss my college friends, but their home now for break and I hope I get to see a lot of them.
Status is still single. It's a weird situation of what's going on, don't want to get into that. All that I know was that, I was hurt real bad. It wasn't just one little whoops. It was several things he did wrong during the breakup chaos. It's a shame honestly. We shared a lot of good times, and now he's finally realizing how much he regret what he did to me. I don't give in that easily, I don't like to take risks of getting hurt like that again. I just miss that connection of a boyfriend. I miss that thrill in your body that makes you so giddy. I miss knowing that there is someone totally head over heels for you. I miss that support. I miss cuddling. I am not going to look though. Whatever happens, happens.
If I haven't seen you in a long time, I miss you. I miss everyone that I haven't seen/talked to in a while. It's so hard not having a car. Sharing is pretty cool, it's a start. Things would be so much easier if I had my own though. Eh, eventually I'll get my own I hope.
Okay, that's all I have to say so far.
Maybe I'll update this thing more often.
Happy Holidays<3
Love, Alison Lee Goshgarian.
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[01 Nov 2006|07:43am] |
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Dont Wake Me Up- The Hush Sound |
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It's like 6:40 in the morning,
I'll be leaving for school, somewhat soon.
Yesturday was halloween, I dressed up as Flavor Flav (ALL OUT) for school and it was a huge hit.
(:
But they didn't announce who won best costume! grr.
Last night, I saw The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D..haha I hadnt seen that movie since I was like, 8.
Wanna hear something, like do you want to laugh?
My bf and I just broke up like..a couple of weeks ago, offically a month now.
I just found out 2 days ago from my friend who goes to his school that he's had a secret girlfriend for the past 2 weeks..
It's a secret from me I guess?
Lemme tell you,
THAT
IS
FUCKED
UP.
I don't want him back or anything..Im not jealous..but still..YOU ARE A MEAN, MEAN PERSON.
Who the fuck does he think he is? God?..uhh your sooo cool lykeomfgzz..
Wanna know how i feel?
HIS LOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im not crying over a deushbag like that, im better than that. Thanks to EVERYONE that has been there for me and listened to me. I love you all so much.
I miss a lot of people, to all the people I haven't seen in a long time : lemme come visit you, kay?
Love,
Alison Lee Goshgarian.
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[27 Oct 2006|02:52pm] |
FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
oh my god.
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| oh my god. |
[02 Oct 2006|05:43pm] |
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The Song I Swore To Never Sing- Moneen |
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jason and i broke up.
after 9 months..
it was a mutual breakup, we still love each other. and we will always be there for each other.
hes just too busy with everything. too busy for a relationship.
im glad that we're on good terms, im just still really upset. veryveryvery upset.
i have great friends, kaytia baked me a cake. and all of them have been there for me.
i will always love this boy. he will always be apart of my heart. its so hard just thinking that we're not..together(?) anymore.
this was so hard for both of us.
maybe when things die down a little..we will be back together?
it all depends, you never know.
so if im acting a little off for a little while..please understand. loosing a boy after 9 months is sososo hard.
i know some may understand and know what im going through.
love,
alison lee goshgarian
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[23 Sep 2006|09:01am] |
im going crazy.
i dont know what to do.
im so stressed.
i dont know what the hell is going on basically.
i want things to go back how they used to be.
fuck.
i need someone to talk to.
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[10 Jul 2006|06:35am] |
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Magnolia-The Hush Sound |
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armenia was a good experience.
but where i was, wasnt where my family is from..the part where my family is from is now turkey, after the whole genocide.
they don't like armenian americans for some reason. we got a lot of stares and it was uncomfortable. the men were extremely creepy too.
lots and lots of poverty. beggers everywhere. but other than that, it was good to see such a different civilization than here. it makes me SO
happy to be living here. i went to alot of interesting places too.
wanna hear why ali g is such a good gf?
lol. jason's birthday is on wednesday. i got him all cute little small and simple gifts. after he opens those, im gonna show him something
on my cellphone that says [SEPT.26,730PM]"YOU ARE BUSY" and he'll be like wtf what? and ill gonna give him an envelope that says open me,
and there will be 2 tickets to see Aerosmith 9/26. He's obsessed with aerosmith (: Im so excited to give his gift!!
i leave for camp on saturday! 15-29th i believe.
can you guys write to me or send me stuff? :) lol. it will make me really happy!
heres the address:
Ali Goshgarian
St. Vartan Camp
c/o Ararat Center
6944 SR 32
Greenville, NY 12083
so far, my summer has been really nice. after armenia, i hung out with robz and it was so awesome because now she has her license it made me feel like wowww i get mine next month! marty and i went to wendys and newberry comics because we're amazing :). the other night ben and i went to the walpole mall and i creamed the kid in DDR and air hockey (: oh yahhh!
i love you all,
<333!!!!
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[14 Jun 2006|03:02pm] |
i feel like a failure.
who would of known that loosing to a sudent cousel election would make you so upset.
i lost by 7 fucking votes.
thats it.
thats annoying.
its okay though, maybe it wasnt meant for me anyways
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[11 Jun 2006|09:21pm] |
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MILKSHAKE! - kelis (hahaha) |
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im sitting here, and it just hit me that the seniors just graduated a couple of days ago.
i thought i wouldnt really care that much. but i am really going to miss ara yessayan. my amazing concert buddy.
ara is such a good person, as well as an amazing friend. he knows my true self, how crazy i am and how much fun i am.
some of the best nights of my life were shared with ara at shows. so thank you ara for sharing an awesome 2 years at the high school with me.
im gonna miss this mofo alot, but ill see him alot this summer! and he'll visit me fo sho. congrats to the whole class of 2006.
<3 alison lee goshgarian.
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[11 Jun 2006|07:34pm] |
dear livejournal,
IM SO FUCKING RIPSHIT.
goodbye.
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[03 Jun 2006|11:45am] |
last night was so good, im starting to believe that it was all just a dream.
but it wasnt.
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[31 May 2006|04:15pm] |
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Such Great Heights- Iron & Wine |
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i have about 13-14ish school days left.
then the rest is finals.
this year went really quickly, its kind of scary. Wasn't I just an itty bitty freshman 5 minutes ago? I guess not. Im going to be a junior. Jesus! I get my license in August, THATS VERY SCARY. I'am a good driver though, i know its hard to believe lol. I've been doing well in school lately. This summer is just comming so damn fast. I'll be gone for practically all of July. Ill be in Armenia for a week. Then im a CIT at my camp. Tomorrow, is Jason's and my 5 month annerversery. <-- i think i spelt that wrong. I lovelovelove him alot. Anyways, I'am extrememly happy with everything and everyone. I want to hang out with EVERYBODY before June 28th, thats when I leave for Armenia. I really mean, everybody. I haven't eaten anything without getting a stomach ache for the past 48 hours, that can't be good huh? I love food, why do I have to get a virus when I get sick after I eat. That would happen to me. Ugh. People are growing up and changing so fast, its starting to scare the shit out of me.
Last night, I watched Garden State. I can't ever get sick of that movie. :D
Take Care Everybody,
and tell me if you want to hang out
because I WANT TO!!!
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